He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
