If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize