did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
