I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
