East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize