on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
