And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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