My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
