He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
