i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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