dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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