He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
