I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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