Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
