So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
