I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
