she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Randomize
