I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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