even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize