spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
