Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
