stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
A bitchslap is in order.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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