You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
