4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
