Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
