no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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