Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
