I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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