Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
