She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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