we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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