thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize