She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize