he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm passing your future prison.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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