Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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