So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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