and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
