Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
