P.S. I can't hear my feet
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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