# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My life is pants optional.
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