Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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