As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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