I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
