We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
