when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
