Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
