Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
where are you?
Hypothermia
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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