So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
