I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
