at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
