Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
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Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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