have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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