I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
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so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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