Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
