at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
