someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
