we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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