Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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