Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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